


The Light That Led Me Back Home

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 17:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sometimes I just worry that you're so far away that we’re going to lose our connection.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Light That Led Me Back Home

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written in the Blood of my Blood universe and takes place after the events in Soulless. It stands alone but reading other stories in the universe will give a better understanding of where the characters come from and where they're going. The title comes from the Richard Marx song, Eternity.

Staring at her while she slept was slightly creepy but it never stopped him from doing it. He’d been doing it since the first night they met, since before he knew their fate. It took a lot for Sam to get home tonight…the spirits were working in Hungary. Still, he felt a void in the pit of his stomach for his family. He felt it for his wife especially. 

It was a little unfair since surely John, JJ, and Hotch missed their families too. Sam never wanted to be selfish or make it seem as if he was the most important. But he did have children at home and his team always supported him spending time with them. Most spirit teams were threesomes. 

Sam never quite understood why the Boss allowed Hotch to join them three years ago and make it four. Now he understood perfectly. They were never without, even if one of them had to go for some reason. This time it was Sam.

When he got in tonight, the first thing he did was check on the kids. Seven year old Jack was asleep in his bed. He opened his eyes immediately when Sam walked into the room; they were connected that way. The spirit gave him a wave and whispered for him to close his eyes. Jack did without a problem. 

In eighteen month old Juliana’s nursery, she did the same. Her powers weren’t even close to Jack’s yet but she felt he presence of her father. When she smiled, she practically glowed. It made Sam do the same thing. Then he kissed her goodnight and went to the master bedroom. 

Jessie was curled in bed; seemed to be having sweet dreams. Sam leaned on the doorframe and crossed his arms. He hadn’t been home in about two months. The last time had just been for the weekend. That was hardly enough time to make up for the two months he was gone before that.

Jessie was really good about Sam’s frequent and sometimes long absences. They were starting to get to Sam though. His daughter was growing and he watched her milestones on video. It was probably only through the light they shared that she recognized him at all. 

He was missing so many things with Jack too. Jessie was a virtual single mom. That surely wasn’t what either of them had in mind when they pledged their souls to each other. Stirring, Jessie turned on her back and opened her eyes. Her first sleepy instinct was to gasp. As she sat up, a calm quickly came over her. Jessie smiled.

“Hey there.”

“Hi baby.”

“What are you standing all the way over there like you're on punishment?” she asked.

“I was just watching you sleep.” Sam replied.

“That’s a little creepy.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

“Come to bed, Sam Kassmeyer…clothing optional.”

The way he smiled lit the entire room. He started taking off his clothes; boots, socks, jeans, tee shirt, and then his boxers. Jessie was under the covers taking off her clothes as well. Sam never stopped smiling as he slipped between the sheets. Nothing felt quite like home. Nothing felt like the bed they shared.

“We might get caught.” He said.

“The kids love sleeping in on Saturday mornings. I tire them out on Friday evenings.”

Sam would file that under more things he didn’t know. He was also just finding out that it was Friday, though the time meant it was now Saturday morning. The sun was likely rising in Debrecen, where his team was. Their mission was busy and keeping track of the days wasn’t on the top of Sam’s to-do list. 

He wrapped his arms around his wife, planning to just exhale and sleep. He didn’t have much time but wanted to take advantage of every second. Instead Sam gasped, putting some distance between them. That hurt more than he thought.

“Jess…”

“I thought you knew.” She said.

“How? When? I…I think this is something you would’ve told me.”

“I didn’t have to tell you the first time.”

“Jessica,” Sam’s voice was stern. He wasn’t upset with her. He was shocked and unsure what he was feeling. She didn’t have to tell him the first time; that was true. He was still floored when he found out. 

This time he was a word that meant more floored than floored. “I know that I'm gone a lot, baby. I know it’s not the most convenient situation but when you need me you can call me. There’s just too much traffic in the world…I can't always feel you. I can sense danger or disarray but I can't always feel the good things. We made a deal that I'm always a phone call away. That hasn’t changed.”

“I thought that’s why you came home tonight.” She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close again. “I'm pregnant Sam; it’s not exactly an emergency. It’s also not something I wanted to tell you over the phone. I thought about it tonight before I fell asleep and knew if you didn’t come home in the next couple of weeks I was going to call you.”

“You're pregnant.” Sam could hardly say the word. It was difficult to speak while breathless.

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“How did this happen?” he asked.

“Well, when a man and a woman care deeply for each other…”

“Jessie,” he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His hand caressed her belly, already expanding with the life of their child. “Wow.”

“I know. When I realized it I was so surprised and overjoyed.” She put her hand over his. “I honestly never thought…”

“Me neither.” Sam shook his head. “How far along are you?”

“I'm five and a half months. I've been to see Natalie and everything is fine. The baby and I are both in perfect health. I love you, Sam.”

“I love you too, baby.” Sam teased her lips before kissing her deeply. The way Jessie trembled against him made Sam’s skin tingle. They didn’t need air; he could kiss her for a lifetime. He rolled on his back and pulled Jessie on top of him. She smiled, stroking his chest.

“I missed you so much.” She whispered as she kissed his neck and collarbone.

“I missed you more baby. I've been dreaming of you.”

“I want to spoon, Sam.”

He wanted whatever Jessie wanted. She lay back on the mattress and then on her side. When her husband moved behind her, when she felt his erection press against her, Jessie moaned.

“Are you alright?” Sam brushed her blonde curls aside to kiss the nape of her neck. Then he touched her belly again.

“I'm fine. I just want to be close to you.”

“Me too.” He slid in slow, wanted to be gentle in the condition she was in. “Mmm, baby.”

Jessie reached back to caress his face as he made love to her. It felt like forever since they'd been together. The way he breathed on her skin, the way he moaned her name, the way he touched her nearly made Jessie cry. Whenever they were close it was an ecstasy that couldn’t be put into words. When their bodies molded and their fingers intertwined; only the bond with the light was stronger.

“Oh God,” Jessie gripped the sheets. “Oh Sam, Sam, ohhh God.”

“I love you. I love you so much, baby. Oh God, oh God, I love you.”

Sam felt himself falling…it had been a long time. He slipped his hand between Jessie’s thighs, stroked her clit. When she whimpered, he growled. He bit her shoulder and Jessie climaxed. 

He was right behind her but didn’t want to thrust too hard. Sam remembered being afraid to touch her for a while when she was pregnant with Juliana. In separate thoughts they both wondered if it would be the same with baby number two. Sam couldn’t believe there would be a number two.

“Don’t move.” Jessie reached back and grabbed his hip. “I don’t want you to move.”

“I'm right here, baby.”

“I don’t know for how long.”

“Tonight is what matters.” Sam said.

“Do you really believe that?”

It was Jessie who moved, slowly pulling away from her husband. When they came apart it was impossible for Sam not to sigh. He rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. Jessie turned and looked at him. She ran her hand down his chest. Sam squirmed a bit when it slipped under the covers.

“Jess…”

“Hmm?”

“Baby, I can't be expected to hold a conversation when you do that.”

“Oh…sorry.” She smiled and went back to stroking his chest.

“I do believe tonight is what matters.” Sam said. “When we’re together, the time we’re apart is the farthest thing from my mind.”

“We’re not together enough.”

“I know, and I'm so sorry about that.”

“You didn’t even know I was pregnant.” Jessie said. “Sometimes I just worry that you're so far away that we’re going to lose our connection.”

“That’s never going to happen.” He turned and caressed her face. “From the moment I heard your prayer Jessie, before we even laid eyes on each other, we were connected.”

“I want you to come home. I know how important what you do is. I'm so proud that you risk your life for the greater good. But I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“Then I’ll come home.”

Sam said it and he meant it. The Boss gave him a choice. He was given a choice from the very start and that choice was always Sam’s to make. They all knew this was going to be hard; knew the situation might change at any minute. It was hard for Sam to imagine that someday he would have to think about something other than the light. But he did now and he couldn’t be selfish about it.

“I think you can do both.” Jessie said. “I won't pretend it’s going to be easy but I think it might be the only way. I know you Sam Kassmeyer, you are a spirit. But you're also a husband and father. You want to excel at all three.”

“I'm not sure I even know how.”

“Three off and three on.” Jessie moved into his arms. She always felt better when they held each other.

“What?”

“You'll stay home for three months, travel with your team three months, and then do it again.”

“There could be times when I'm called away for emergencies.” He said.

“I understand that. But no more than one week a month of family time can be spent away unless the Boss truly needs you.”

“I might only have one three day weekend per month when I'm traveling.”

“I understand that too.”

“When do we begin?”

“I want you home for the holidays.” Jessie replied. “So we begin September 30th.”

“I’ll have to seek permission.”

“I know.” She nodded. “While you're up there you can ask the Boss how I got pregnant again. I don’t think you're going to stop worrying about it if you don’t.”

“I'm not worrying.” He said. 

That wasn’t quite true but Sam wanted to mean it. This child would be a miracle and he was happy about it. But Juliana was the Chosen One. The prophecy said that she would fight the darkness side by side with her cousin. If that were the case then what was the destiny of their second child. 

What if that child was the darkness of the prophecy? Sam’s stomach turned just thinking about it. He held Jessie tighter, letting her positive energy being him peace. He felt the warmth and the light in her. Sam knew she felt the same in him.

“You're also a bad liar…but I love that about you.” She kissed him. “I know everything will be alright, Sam. I feel it in my bones; in my soul. Just hold onto me.”

“I came 4600 miles to do exactly that.”

***


End file.
